Wallishomestead

The superpower I want most?
100% invisibility.
And not for superhero reasons either. I’m not trying to save the world. I’m trying to survive Walmart.
I want to walk into a store without suddenly making eye contact with:
my old neighbor,
someone from church,
a homeschool mom I met one time three years ago,
and that one person who somehow always spots me looking absolutely feral in leggings, messy hair, and emotional-support coffee in hand.
I want to peacefully wander through Target at my own pace like a mysterious woodland creature. No small talk. No awkward “we should totally get together sometime!” conversations we both know will never happen. No getting trapped in the bread aisle while my ice cream slowly melts in the cart because somebody wants to tell me their entire life story.
And listen… invisibility would save me from pretending I didn’t see someone first. Because once eye contact happens? It’s over. Social contract activated. Now we’re both fake-laughing while I slowly lose the will to live beside the canned vegetables.
I just want to:
buy my coffee creamer in peace,
stare at clearance sections for 45 minutes,
sniff candles like it’s a professional occupation,
and leave unnoticed like a ninja suburban mom.
Honestly, the real reason I want invisibility is because I’m tired of walking into stores for ONE thing and somehow leaving mentally exhausted, emotionally drained, and $137 poorer with throw pillows, homeschool supplies, chicken treats, and absolutely nothing I originally came for.
Invisible me?
Untouchable.
Unbothered.
Probably still spending too much money… but silently